My Weakest Strength

Am constantly called strong, yet am constantly doubting it.

The biggest challenge in my life is the emptiness that engulfs me whenever I open up to someone about my mental struggles and they walk away.

Opening up eats away a part of me, exposing my vulnerability more than the previous time. To the rest of the crowd it seems easier each time because I get to tell a deeper story, to me it's harder each time.

Will you start viewing me different when you finish reading this?

There is a thin line between strong and damaged, it is hard to tell where I lie.

My only prayer is that my tear, my struggle and my pain impacts a life positively by shining a ray hope upon despair.

Am not sure about being lonely, but I am sure I am alone. My fake smiles, fake happy attitudes and other weird kind of fakes make daylight easier to live through in the face of this stugmatising world.

So when someone says am awesome, how would I know I actually am? Been doing this for so long I sometimes miss the switch from fake to real.

Recently someone told me they pity me for they cannot understand how one human being can be so unlucky, and I understand this stand. I just wish they saw the coin from my side, because from my side, despite how difficult it is, I still ensure that I see my shortcomings as opportunity for better things.

To cut the long story short, I would like to say that, mental illness is not contagious by association and neither is it a death sentence.

But wait, how do I know that am actually sure of what am saying? You shall never know...

#mysickmind #mentalillness