TELLING MY UNTOLD

As a young girl, the news of my pregnancy hit me hard like Hurricane Katrina. I was disappointed in myself, I could not come to terms with the thought of a bulging tummy, the thought of a crying baby- I loved my sleep too much to think of interruptions. I crept into denial, refused to accept that I was going to be a mother leave alone accepting my readiness for motherhood. I weighed my options, I thought of how I could hide away deliver the young and sell it then resurface back to my 'fun' world, but even then motherhood was slowly creeping into my system and I could not bare to abandon the young in me. I started taking photos, going for belly arts, swimming and other things that made me feel I wasn't slowly losing my life. It was the longest 7 months(I only got to learn of it at 8 weeks) of my life. The course of my life was changing, priorities shifted, decision determiners changed, I practically found a whole new me. At 4 months I met a lady who complimented me on a happy pregnancy and she told me that baby should be named Precious,(I had not known the gender yet so she said we could call her Precious and change the name if the gender was male) and so Precious became the name of the unborn in me. The compliment was like a wake-up call, the name brought with it confidence and I started reading on-line, joined mothers' groups and websites and my journey became lighter with each passing day. I would talk to Precious, and she was ever so kind as to turn every time we started a conversation, it was magical, an unexplainable feeling only a mother can tell about. My attitude leaned to the positives, I started having baby dreams. In my dreams I saw a happy girl, older, about 5 years and...
To be continued...