The Round Rectangle..........

Am not sure this one will go well with some people. Oh wait, just remembered am not on a people pleasing mission. So, getting on with it, am not at a very good place right now, few weeks ago, for the second time, people I had devoted my time to, betrayed me. Rewind… Am that kind of person who really goes out of my when I decide to. You know I put in my time, resources and literally just sacrifice for whatever I put my mind to doing. This means that when people involved decide to ‘ef’ me up, it goes really nasty on my mind. Play… Within the first half of this year, I have faced tremendous betrayal through this dedication habit I have. The first time I, you know, applied my shock absorbers, my meds and somehow managed to seem to push through (little did I know). Then came the second time, it caught me too much off-guard, plus it was accompanied by a bad physical illness attack and this time I had no shock absorbers. Just as I was trying to figure out if am in a dream or al

My Cousin Job Passed on. Let me rephrase that; My Cousin Job took his life.. - wait, he couldn't have taken his life, he always had it. Let me rephrase that too; MY COUSIN COMMITTED SUICIDE. By Hanging. The Pain... It is exactly 12 days today 12 June 2018 since my cousin hanged himself. It is exactly 12 days since he did what I couldn't do - Get through with it. See I have attempted suicide before, not once, not twice and it's not a pretty thing to live with. Even rape is prettier. Rewind. I write this because of pain. And am from a sitting with some two friends of mine and I told them that my cousin committed suicide and they said "you know someone who has attempted suicide before gets through with it at some point" - I swallowed hard, felt a sharp pain in my chest... Who is this cousin I speak of? Job was the last born of my maternal aunt, and at age 22 it got to him. I am in pain, pain from different sides. I am in pain of loss, for having l