The Healthy Patient

The waters i was floating on were clear and calm, my breathing felt heavy, but my mind was lost in tranquility. I wanted to be in that state forever, I imagined God was putting me through practice for heaven. Then I felt a sharp pain in my chest, something or someone was pressing on my chest so hard that I could only breathe in mouth gulps. I was swept off the waters and felt my heavy body lie on some sort of a couch. The pressing was repeated, this time harder than before, followed by a male voice 'Valentine can you hear me?' I responded but I think he dint hear me because I heard him say, 'she isn't responding, let me retry'. He pressed again, and my eyelids parted ways. The light above me was too much, I preferred the sunset scene while at the waters. The man, who was dressed in blue leaned closer to my ear and asked again 'Valentine, can you hear me?' I thought I responded with a yes but I only heard myself murmur and the man responded 'Good, don't close your eyes'. Then he told someone else 'she is awake, lets keep her that way. I will now take her vitals' I focused on the man and realised he had a hospital badge, then a series of questions followed, 'do you know where you are?' 'How are you feeling?' And when I couldn't answer, he went ahead to explain 'You are in hospital, you fainted and your friends rushed you here. Please be calm we shall take care of you'. My heart sank. Unless you are working there, hospital is not the best place to be, and especially not when you are an outgoing person because on top of the health issues, one feels tied down. As I type away on my phone's small screen; lying on this abnormally raised bed, as I listen to nurses try to reassure patients, I cannot help but marvel at the inevitability of some calamities. An old lady admitted across from me yesterday told me (murimu nduri njamba)- in my mother tongue to mean ( Disease has no hero) and I believe her. The issues I have (which am not ready to share at the moment) have come as a blessing in disguise. While my being unwell has put so much pressure on all those close to me and myself, it has also given me a time to think, agree and disagree with myself (what i like to call having a meeting with myself). Sleep doesn't come easy in such situations and I cannot help but wonder how hard it must be especially for my mother. Getting well is my primary concern but thoughts of how I will show gratitude to those taking care of me cannot escape my mind. All I can do is swim in the ocean of memories and I have to say, its not the memories of work, making money or sadness that are keeping me going, its the memories of great times spent with family and close friends that are giving me something to look forward to. Its these sweet memories that are wiping tears off my face, its these sweet memories that are making me realise just how blessed I am. I never doubted it before, but its now clearer than ever, that Love conquers all. The money makes love more elaborate but money never creates love. I miss my daughter, and in such a time as this cold moment I cant help but thank God for those around me that have been my rock. I pray that God always guides my family and I and teaches me to pray in thankfulness...