The Public Secret

By -

Dignity is defined as
1.formal or serious conduct or manner
2. worthiness
3. high rank, title, etc.

So i ask, does sex play any role in the definition of dignity? Most religious persons will answer yes to that question though i beg to differ with that view. A few months ago i met a guy and we started talking and knowing each other and somewhere along the line he popped the question 'how many guys have you had sex with?' The honest answer is 'i don't know' simply because i don't count. We know the number is more than one because the guy who got me pregnant n the guy who broke my virginity are two different persons, but beyond that, keeping record is a total waste of memory space in my head.
One time i was under so much pressure at work and stress was creeping in so i went to the bar for a drink to clear my head. Next to me sat a woman who was flashing down shots soo angrily that i got interested n asked her whats up, she told me she had come on a date with a dude and when he asked about how many guys she had sex with, she got honest and said 29, and the guy left after asking her, 'do you have a history of prostitution on your family?'
Looking at that scenario i ask, just how many guys should one have sex with so as to remain dignified? who
sets this number? the best answers here are N/A. I believe as one grows older my theory makes more sense, in the event one stays unmarried longer the number grows and same happens if one is in an unsatisfying marriage or relationship.
If anyone wants to know how many people you have had sex with, they are only out to plant guilt in you and also indirectly label you depending on the number that you give them. If it makes sense to you, my advice would be if you are already having sex don't burden your head with numbers. If you break up with your partner you will not torture yourself for 5years so as to stick to a number which was set by u don't know who, and who might have probably had tripple the number of partners. Don't get me wrong, i dont mean to say u go giving it to every tom, dick and harry, most dick and harry's aren't that good haha. What i mean to say is, at the end of the day only you who knows the number so try stick to a number that will not give you a guilty conscience.
I like to remember the extremely spiritual ones amongst us, that pastor or brother might not be who he seemed to be, so dont feel bad seeking happiness elsewhere, after all God intended for us to be happy didn't He?

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Sweet Pain, Dead Peace

By -
My Cousin Job Passed on. Let me rephrase that; My Cousin Job took his life.. - wait, he couldn't have taken his life, he always had it. Let me rephrase that too; MY COUSIN COMMITTED SUICIDE. By Hanging. The Pain... It is exactly 12 days today 12 June 2018 since my cousin hanged himself. It is exactly 12 days since he did what I couldn't do - Get through with it. See I have attempted suicide before, not once, not twice and it's not a pretty thing to live with. Even rape is prettier. Rewind. I write this because of pain. And am from a sitting with some two friends of mine and I told them that my cousin committed suicide and they said "you know someone who has attempted suicide before gets through with it at some point" - I swallowed hard, felt a sharp pain in my chest... Who is this cousin I speak of? Job was the last born of my maternal aunt, and at age 22 it got to him. I am in pain, pain from different sides. I am in pain of loss, for having l
Read more

Feels Like a Hot Ice cube

By -
This is my first blog after the suicide note.... I have been thinking about it for a long time, it scares, am no longer whom I used to be. I was a closed book on the shelf, now I am an open book on the street, and many have read me. Being all over the media with ny story is chilling, and it not a good feeling. Most think that it is the road to healing, but no, it is not. The road to healing is quiet and private, inside my psychologist's room and inside my head. This other public road is a sacrifice, a sacrifice I have made for the young girls and boys growing up who should never experience rape. A sacrifice for my cousin who hanged himself before having had the chance to share the pain he felt, and so I sacrifice so that no one has to die the suicidal way. A sacrifice for those who are close to people with suicidal ideations, so that they do not throw them out to the dogs for misinformation. A sacrifice for the Mental Health community, that has been shut off due the invisibi
Read more

THE PAINFUL PLEASURE- Confessions of a Mother

By -
Image
It was Friday April 20 2012 I checked myself into hospital, my baby 9 days late already. I was alright, no pains, waters not broken and I felt perfectly normal. Was admitted to the labour ward and they started the routine obstetric check-ups and examined that my breasts were okay. Saturday morning at 10 am the doctors said they would have to  induce me to deliver if I wouldn't have started the contractions by 11. So at 11 they explained that the would break a small tablet into 4 parts, each part to be inserted into the vagina after every 6 hours. The tablet works by softening the cervix causing dilation n with it starts uterine contractions. After the first quarter was inserted I started labour at around 1300hrs and  at 1635hrs 2.7kg baby Precious, the cutest light skinned baby with beautifuly contrasting dark hair was born after pushing thrice. The doctors did their thing and took me to my bed, funny thing after the placenta is out the pain disappears like it was never there and
Read more