My Cousin Job Passed on. Let me rephrase that; My Cousin Job took his life.. - wait, he couldn't have taken his life, he always had it. Let me rephrase that too; MY COUSIN COMMITTED SUICIDE. By Hanging. The Pain... It is exactly 12 days today 12 June 2018 since my cousin hanged himself. It is exactly 12 days since he did what I couldn't do - Get through with it. See I have attempted suicide before, not once, not twice and it's not a pretty thing to live with. Even rape is prettier. Rewind. I write this because of pain. And am from a sitting with some two friends of mine and I told them that my cousin committed suicide and they said "you know someone who has attempted suicide before gets through with it at some point" - I swallowed hard, felt a sharp pain in my chest... Who is this cousin I speak of? Job was the last born of my maternal aunt, and at age 22 it got to him. I am in pain, pain from different sides. I am in pain of loss, for having l...
This is my first blog after the suicide note.... I have been thinking about it for a long time, it scares, am no longer whom I used to be. I was a closed book on the shelf, now I am an open book on the street, and many have read me. Being all over the media with ny story is chilling, and it not a good feeling. Most think that it is the road to healing, but no, it is not. The road to healing is quiet and private, inside my psychologist's room and inside my head. This other public road is a sacrifice, a sacrifice I have made for the young girls and boys growing up who should never experience rape. A sacrifice for my cousin who hanged himself before having had the chance to share the pain he felt, and so I sacrifice so that no one has to die the suicidal way. A sacrifice for those who are close to people with suicidal ideations, so that they do not throw them out to the dogs for misinformation. A sacrifice for the Mental Health community, that has been shut off due the invisibi...
It was Friday April 20 2012 I checked myself into hospital, my baby 9 days late already. I was alright, no pains, waters not broken and I felt perfectly normal. Was admitted to the labour ward and they started the routine obstetric check-ups and examined that my breasts were okay. Saturday morning at 10 am the doctors said they would have to induce me to deliver if I wouldn't have started the contractions by 11. So at 11 they explained that the would break a small tablet into 4 parts, each part to be inserted into the vagina after every 6 hours. The tablet works by softening the cervix causing dilation n with it starts uterine contractions. After the first quarter was inserted I started labour at around 1300hrs and at 1635hrs 2.7kg baby Precious, the cutest light skinned baby with beautifuly contrasting dark hair was born after pushing thrice. The doctors did their thing and took me to my bed, funny thing after the placenta is out the pain disappears like it was never there...
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