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Feels Like a Hot Ice cube

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This is my first blog after the suicide note.... I have been thinking about it for a long time, it scares, am no longer whom I used to be. I was a closed book on the shelf, now I am an open book on the street, and many have read me. Being all over the media with ny story is chilling, and it not a good feeling. Most think that it is the road to healing, but no, it is not. The road to healing is quiet and private, inside my psychologist's room and inside my head. This other public road is a sacrifice, a sacrifice I have made for the young girls and boys growing up who should never experience rape. A sacrifice for my cousin who hanged himself before having had the chance to share the pain he felt, and so I sacrifice so that no one has to die the suicidal way. A sacrifice for those who are close to people with suicidal ideations, so that they do not throw them out to the dogs for misinformation. A sacrifice for the Mental Health community, that has been shut off due the invisibi...
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Sexless Orgasms

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I am not sure I can quite relate to most people’s definition of love, but I am certain that for those who have experienced the infamous orgasm, we can agree on its definition. Back in the day, when I was growing up, hooking up with a man meant going to a RESTAURANT for lunch or coffee if you were lucky, then he would take you home and hug you goodbye or give you a peck if you were lucky. For the men, getting a girl to your ‘cubicle’ was hard enough, leave alone convincing her that one shot would not get her pregnant. And actually, if a man got lucky to convince her about that first shot, instead of the second coming easy, the second never came. That was when men valued that one girl who found him special enough to taste the cookie. Fast forward to the digital age where girls actually ask men out, take them to their houses, and then dispose them before dawn after use. Please note the asking out part is for intoxication purposes only not to build some sort of a bond. So I remember ...
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Sweet Pain, Dead Peace

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My Cousin Job Passed on. Let me rephrase that; My Cousin Job took his life.. - wait, he couldn't have taken his life, he always had it. Let me rephrase that too; MY COUSIN COMMITTED SUICIDE. By Hanging. The Pain... It is exactly 12 days today 12 June 2018 since my cousin hanged himself. It is exactly 12 days since he did what I couldn't do - Get through with it. See I have attempted suicide before, not once, not twice and it's not a pretty thing to live with. Even rape is prettier. Rewind. I write this because of pain. And am from a sitting with some two friends of mine and I told them that my cousin committed suicide and they said "you know someone who has attempted suicide before gets through with it at some point" - I swallowed hard, felt a sharp pain in my chest... Who is this cousin I speak of? Job was the last born of my maternal aunt, and at age 22 it got to him. I am in pain, pain from different sides. I am in pain of loss, for having l...
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